RetroXotique |
Excerpts
from the Diary of Gabrielle Van Wettering (nee van Hessel)
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January 18th 1835 My husband still has not serviced me I am constantly on edge, he declares himself to tired and he is working from dawn to dusk, although I have serviced him three times today with my mouth, also I am still not wide enough to for him to enter my behind and this is displeasing him. Today I tried the 3 dilator, Lissa push for an hour but could not get it fully in, I seem to be much tighter lower down with the tightness of the corset. In the end we managed to get it fully in with the aid of a large dollop of fat from the ships galley. I feel so full down below I think I am going to burst. While I was resting this afternoon, laid on my bed fully dressed and the Austrian belt tightened, I tried to reach down and pull my skirts up, the bloated beret sleeves hindered me and there was to much volume of material for me to reach over with my hampered arms, at this point my husband entered and knew immediately what I was trying to do. Now Lissa has to sit with in the cabin whilst I am resting. January 21st 1835 Last night I disgraced myself again, in the heat I needed some relief and must admit that I did fondle myself again. I could not help myself, with the heat and the lack of attention from my husband I just could not help myself. He was beside himself, saying that he could not believe that any lady of breeding had such a lack of self-restraint. This morning he vowed to do something about and went to his office and returned with a letter. He told me that it was from Uncle and should be opened when it became clear that his niece required punishment. He had told my Uncle at the time that he did not think he would ever have to open it. When he had read it, he informed me that his Uncle had predicted an event such as last night and that all his nieces restraint equipment was packed in a crate in the hold. He sent Lissa to get it opened and bring back a pair of arm binders. As I finish this entry Lissa stands by and soon I must bend my arms back doubled so that she can bind them. My husband has declared that this will happen henceforward until I have demonstrated some self control. January 23rd 1835 My torment increases, every night I wish for husband to satisfy my front pleasure hole, and every night he bemoans the fact that he cannot enter my back pleasure hole. I must persevere. January 25th 1835 We are two days from Cape Town, I shall be glad of some time off the ship. January 26th 1835 I have fallen again, last night my husband briefly enter my front pleasure hole, bringing me hopes of release, but the he exited and had me finish him off with my mouth. I could not help myself and as I could reach with my arms bound I bent my leg double and used the long toe of the bedroom boots to satisfy myself. My husband was so enraged I thought he was going to strike me. He has said nothing to me this morning even though I woke him perfectly as he spurted which I find a very difficult task just supporting my self on my bound elbows. Tonight he has sworn he will not put with my lack of discipline. January 27th 1835 We docked this morning and my husband went off with a pair of arm binders leaving me aboard the ship. A dressmaker has visited and talked with Lissa and left with most of my dresses. My husband returned later with another set of binders, this time for the legs. This afternoon, Lissa undressed me, and fitted my
bedroom boots, the Austrian belt and then my arm binders, I lay on the bed and my husband bent my legs back behind me. Informing me that he would brook no lewd behaviour from his wife, he then fitted leg binders to me so that my bedroom boots were lashed hard to my bottom. I complained bitterly and he produced a gag and gagged me and Lissa fitted a face mask over my head. I had to suffer in bound silence. As I lay bound I heard someone enter the room and then felt sharp pain in my nipples as they were both pierced and as I later found out, rings inserted. They released me for dinner when I found out that the rings were to be used to drag my nipples down instead of the tied pieces of cotton. I now have gold chains attached to the rings holding my breasts down, my husband ordered Lissa to pull them so tight that my nipples are stretched a full 2 and touching the top of my corset, I thought that they would be removed after we returned from dinner, but my husband has ordered them not, my nipples are so sore, I am sure I will not be able to sleep. Lissa now stands waiting with the arm and leg binders and ominously the 3½ dilator.January 28th 1835 Last night Lissa bound my legs and arms and between they forced the 3½ dilator up my arse, I cried out and my husband rapidly gagged me with a ring gag. He then woke me several times and ordered me to pleasure him with my mouth. He did not help and each time I struggled to turn over using my just elbows and then moving, on my bound elbows and knees, position my self above his member and pleasure him whilst still wearing the ring gag. Every time I brushed my stretched nipples against his body I gasped with pain. He at last let me sleep, letting it be known that now I could not embarrass him again. I am full of remorse, maybe my Uncle is right and I am incorrigible. My husband has been so patient with me, but I have let him down at every turn. January 30th 1835 We have left Cape Town I have not seen it, my husband has said that he is not sure he can trust me in polite company until he has taken certain measures. February 15th 1835 I have fallen again, last night looking for some relief from tension, I used my bound elbows to drag my one of my titties up towards my mouth so that I could suck on my breast button, I leaned my head forward and started sucking, I was so entranced that I did not notice my husband wake and view my disgusting behaviour. Tonight Lissa stands ready with the arm and leg binders and one my old posture collars, which she has found in the crate. I notice with dread that it is the highest one which forces my head right back.February 18th 1835 I have been caught again, last night I began rubbing my nipples with my bound arms and my husband discovered me once more. He has got the ships carpenter to make a bar which holds two short leather cylinders, this afternoon it was fitted to me, the leather cylinders are tightly bound around the base of my breast, make them balloon up high on my chest and the bar extends over my bound arms stopping me from raising them to my breasts. After a while my breasts begin to throb painfully, but there was no relief.February 21sth 1835 Three days ago, my husband says that he has completely lost faith in me and as such has reinstituted, my bound arm day dresses, that morning Lissa bound my arms back double as tight as she could lace them and my bound arms were forced into a my light blue day dress which had been altered to accept the bound arms in Cape Town, the false gloved arms were fitted and have spent the days in that fashion ever since. They have even hobbled my ankles so that I cannot raise my legs up during the day as I once did at night. I dont think anybody on board has really noticed as I was mostly helpless due the over large beret sleeves and at meals my husband has always fed me. I am now back in the state as under my Uncles vigilance, all due to my own lack of discipline. February 28th 1835 I have now been encumbered with the 4 dilator for 4 days, and it fills me horribly, I waddle about like a drunken seaman, each step causing me pain. I dearly hope my husband will be able to enter me soon. Today my husband ordered my corset fully closed from top to bottom, Lissa pulled and pulled until not a sight of gap remained. The pressure is insufferable, my ribs are crushed and my hips are squeezed and it has increased the pressure on my expanded arse, the only benefit is that the front busk is pushed towards my front pleasure hole and I can feel a little relief although bending forward to increase the pressure brings stars to my eyes, I know I needed to reduce my waist but why do I have to be so tightlaced above and below. Since the night they forced it into me I have worn a full tight laced face mask every night with just a mouth opening and the ring gag, I now have great difficulty founding my husbands member to service him without sight. February 28th 1835 We are preparing for the Indies and my husband is worried that I shall embarrass him in front of the managers of the East Indies Company. He has told me that his new wife will declared very fragile and I will be taken straight to his house and kept in restraint until he can trust me, I will be only allowed out under the severest conditions. March 3rd 1835 I am now wearing full masks with only opening for my nostrils all day long with my large wigs perched atop them. The ships officers have made no comment and carry on as if nothing had happened. I fear that my husband has told them something of my disobedience and they seem to accept the situation.March 5th 1835 Last night the 4 dilator was removed, and my husband entered my rear pleasure hole, I have been waiting for this moment for weeks, hoping for release from my built up tension that has hounded me and caused my husband so much dismay. And although he seemed satisfied and repeated three times it gave nought satisfaction to me. |
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